I forgot to post this when it went online, but the latest RADAR Magazine 100 list is available for your perusal. Seriously, peruse it. It's called "Help Wanted," and is a list of 100 things you should never say during a job interview. EXPECT SOMETHING KRAZY.

As always, here are a couple of mine that didn't make the cut but, in my opinion, also were not horrible:

• "I'll bet that desk of yours could tell some stories...stories about fucking!"
  
• "As for me being a team player, I think this video of me at the World's Biggest Gang Bang speaks for itself."
  
• "I will require a 15-minute break every day at 4:20, if you know what I mean."
  
• "I look forward to someday forcing you out of your job."
  
• "Hire me and you have my word—casual Fridays are about to get a whole lot more casual."
  
• "SHOW ME THE MONEY!" / "SHOW ME THE HONEY!" (if interviewing for a job at an apiary) / "SHOW ME THE MUMMIES!" (if interviewing for a job at the museum of natural history)
  

Also, I'll write other things later. I just don't feel like it right now, OK?