Were you a high school valedictorian? Do you live in New York City? If so, I NEED YOU. Not in that way, but in an equally urgent, desperate, and potentially awkward way.

If you were your high school's valedictorian and you've got a couple of free hours next Wednesday night, June 30th, please get in touch with me immediately. Let me know what year you were valedictorian, and where, and I will email you back detailing the very small, harmless, and potentially fun things that would be demanded of you on the 30th.