Today, someone sent me a link to this article about the contents of large shipping container filled with Doritos® washing ashore on the Outer Banks. In the article, people are pictured gathering the Doritos along the beach, and collecting them in large plastic bags. At first I thought these people were from the Parks & Wildlife Commission, which is the name of a commission I possibly just fabricated but believe in my heart is very real. I assumed they were cleaning the beach. However, the article seems to indicate they were actually a group of soccer moms who saw this as an excellent opportunity to stock up on Cool Ranch Doritos for their worthless husbands and ungrateful children.

I wish I could be there right now, on Dorito Beach. I would love to spend the afternoon attempting to roll those little guys back into the sea. They must be so frightened.