I am compelled to tell you about a special event of which I am taking part, this evening. It is the NYC BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIP, and I will be one of the performers introducing a category of competition. (I won't tell which category, because that would be cheating.)

There will also be several bands (bearded and non-bearded), comedians (to my knowledge, mostly non-bearded), and celebrity judges. (adorned with varying degrees and configurations of facial hair.) Also, there will be 300-pound moustache made of caramel. No there won't. But there will be lots of other things to entertain you, even if you're opposed to facial hair or the lusty celebration of it.

featuring live music from:
Country Club and the Porn Horns
Curtis Eller's American Circus
Valley Lodge

and, to introduce and host each category, comedians such as:
Christian Finnegan
Nick Kroll
Jon Friedman
Michelle Collins

and also me (bearded)

From Paper Magazine:
"Looks like the folks behind the New York City Beard and Moustache Championships beat us to the chase and registered the domain name “nycbeard.com” before we could. Damn! Putting that aside, it’s beard and moustache season, people! Head on over to the Knitting Factory this evening as a bevy of comedians (Todd Levin, Nick Kroll, Christian Finnegan, et. al.) make facial hair-related jokes and New York City’s hairiest compete in four different hairy categories. They’re promising “celebrity judges” and appearances from subjects featured in the upcoming doc, “Splitting Hairs,” which follows the United States Beard and Mustache team through Europe. We hear there’s a “Kenny Rogers” category. Hairs to that!"

Tickets available online