It's amazing how you can go through your entire life believing you're a perfectly well-adjusted person without any dark corners in your psyche. Just a meat-and-potatoes person who enjoys sex but finds most deviant kinks play out like an uncomfortably amateurish improv show. ["OK, I'm going to need someone from the audience to suggest a 'synthetic material' and a 'stock character.'"] And then one day, through a purely innocent accident, you stumble upon something that whips open your brain's one dank, cobwebbed trap-door, leading directly to the filthy sewage retention chamber of your subconscious. In fact, the effect of this discovery is so immediate and intense that it cracks the trap-door straight off its rusted hinges, so this chamber can never be sealed again and, instead, its contents leak out into all of the previously clean areas of your mind, spreading darkness like a weeping chest wound spider-webbing across the inside of a clean-white t-shirt.

I guess what I'm saying is, I think I just found the best page on the entire Internet, and I don't care what you think of me BECAUSE I AM FREE.