On my list of "Things Over Which I Am Incapable of Experiencing Unmediated Enjoyment," I think I can finally add white sugar. I know this because lately, every time I grab something sugar – yesterday, that would have included two handfuls of cinnamon almonds, some Paul Newman mint chocolate chip chocolate (that redundancy was not a typing error) cookies (fuck yes!), a sweetened iced soy latte, a glass of wine, some gum, and Heinz ketchup – the last thought I experience, just before passing it through my food-hole, is, "will this be the item that gives me diabetes?"