Stood at the gate of the midtown tunnel tonight, at midnight, waiting for elephants to emerge from the Queens side. Isn't that an odd sentence? But it's true. The circus elephants made their annual low-key progression from the Queens Midtown Tunnel, up to the 34th Street, and across town to Madison Square Garden. What a lucky site to observe.

I would also like to point out that, of all the people waiting right by the tunnel entrance, I was the absolute only person who remembered how much elephants loved peanuts and how little they would mind if I bought a whole bag of them and tossed them in the street. I had an adult case of the giggles (or, as my friend simon used to drawl perversely, "the geeegles") as I watched the more ambitious pachyderms temporarily break their elegant trunk-to-tail chain in order to hoover up some squished peanuts from NY's finest asphalt. It felt a whole lot better than my show tonight, which I sort of shitted up. I know exactly what I did wrong, and next time I'll correct it onstage rather than in my secret diary many hours later. (hint: i hope the next audience likes peanuts.)